I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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