so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
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I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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