He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
