kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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