so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
