is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
my penis made a compromise with my morals
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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