I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
