walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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