I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
