I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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