So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize