my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have feelings that need drinking.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize