The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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