I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
