waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
