Did you just see the Batmobile???
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
