Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Randomize
