What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
