you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
