I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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