Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I just gift wrapped bread.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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