Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
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