Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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