new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
third nipple confirmed
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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