Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
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