For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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