Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
