Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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