He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize