I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Randomize