DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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