there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
