It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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