She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
i drank out of a bidet.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
