So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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