Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
