chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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