then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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