Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
