my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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