I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
