Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Randomize
