i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
All I want is dick and wine.
Randomize
