well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
