batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
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