Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
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