we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
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Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
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All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
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