Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
