were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
