just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
