discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
jump out the window naked night went bad
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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