there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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