why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
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The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
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Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect