Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
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