i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.