My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
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