we have officially mastered the walk of shame
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
