Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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