My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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