What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
