Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
