Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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