You just made me feel so damn special
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
